Lena Chen

Split The Tab! Negotiating Contraceptive Equality In Relationships | Sex Really

To recap the latest in contraceptive news: the new birth control legislation will provide free coverage for many Americans, but there are still plenty of folks who won’t qualify. If you’re one of the unlucky people without full coverage, you might want to consider talking to your partner about splitting the bill. That’s the subject of my latest webisode for Sex Really, and it’s a pretty tricky one to tackle. When I write for teen audiences, I frequently get asked, “How do I know if I’m ready for sex?” and as a general rule of thumb, I think if you’re not ready to talk about sex and its ramifications, then you’re not ready to be having it. One can apply that to relationships too — you should be getting down with people with whom you can discuss What Ifs and sexual histories and preferred condom brands! That said, the reality is that there are such things as stranger sex and ill-defined faux-mances. We don’t always know the folks we fuck, these can be really awkward conversations to have, and depending on the nature of your relationship, financial assistance from a partner might not be something with which you’re comfortable. (Not to mention that our partners can be just as strapped for cash as we are, and it can be hard to determine how much of reproductive health costs should be shared.)

All of that is to say that I understand if you don’t want to bring up prescriptions and co-pays on your next date. There are, however, some pretty huge ramifications to shouldering the cost of contraception alone, so if your partner is in a position to help out, I encourage you to have that conversation. Check out this informal Urtak poll I conducted of readers:

• A quarter of respondents have stopped using birth control or switched methods due to cost.
• 31 percent of respondents said that cost has deterred them from obtaining a prescription.
• Only 36 percent of respondents have ever split the cost with a partner.
• Nearly half of respondents would try a different method if cost weren’t a factor.
• And perhaps unsurprisingly, those who had experienced an unintended pregnancy were also more likely to report that cost had played a role in their contraceptive decision-making.

Want to know how you can start a conversation about sharing costs? Four women offer their experiences, perspectives, and strategies on the latest episode of Sex Really.

(via lenachen)