info
“He Came To Stay” | Explosion Proof Fall 2011
Forgot to blog this when it came out last fall, but here’s a personal essay I wrote about my relationship with Patrick (for Explosion Proof’s “State of the Union” issue). Simone de Beauvoir inspired the title. I was reading Tête-à-Tête at the time.
(To read the article, click to the individual page and right-click “view image”).
(Source: lenachen)
How The Internet Changed My Sex Life | Audrey Magazine
I was a guest columnist for Audrey Magazine’s Fall 2011 issue. Here’s a snippet of my piece on how online dating has altered the way we choose partners:
With the array of choices online, it’s tempting to rely on search features that comb through user databases to spit out results based on age, ethnicity, religion, education and even dietary preferences. The criteria with which you can assess potential partners range from the trivial (pet ownership status) to the maddeningly obscure (foreign languages spoken). Should a romantic decision really come down to whether someone is more of a dog person or a cat person? The Internet can make dating seem like an interview process. It’s easy to get caught up in looking for the next best thing or to falsely believe that you don’t need to compromise on your vision of an ideal partner or relation- ship, because there’s always that elusive better offer.
In this day and age, what happens virtually isn’t distinct from “the real world”; it’s part of it. I think OkCupid, Grindr, and similar services can be really fantastic ways to meet people (as long as you don’t get addicted, as SO many of my friends have). I know plenty of folks who have turned online flirtations into offline relationships, but just as many who end up in unfulfilling cycles of serial dating.
The article’s not up on the magazine’s website yet, but my editor just sent the PDF to me. To read the whole thing, click here.
(Source: lenachen)
ask lena: how do i get back with my ex? | gURL.com
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth broke up and got back together (and then broke up again). Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson tried time and time again. Speidi…don’t even get me started.
On and off relationships happen, a lot. Are you in that postion with your sweetie right now? If you want to get back with your ex, listen up, because I’ve got some advice for you.
The key word here is change. If neither you nor your ex has changed, what’s the point in rehashing the past? You already know it’s broken. If one (or both) of you has become more respectful, more considerate, more whatever, then you might want to take a chance…because maybe one of you learned something that will ultimately change your relationship for the better.
Ask Lena: Help! I’m Obsessed With The gURL My BF Cheated On Me With! | gURL.com
We recently talked about what is considered cheating, but what do you do when the cheating already occurred? And you’re the victim?
cookie142‘s boyfriend cheated on her with another gURL, and now she can’t stop thinking about what this other gURL had that made her boyfriend stray.
Watch my vlog below and tell me if you agree in the comments below! Should she move on in her relationship? Or move on to a new guy?
And don’t forget to email me your questions, thoughts, rants, and desires at askanexpert@gurl.com!
There are a lot of myths about what sex can or can’t do for your relationship. One of the most long-standing is that having sex will bring you and your partner to a new emotional level. But what about that old adage about buying the cow when you can get the milk for free?
gURL reader vso92 wanted to know if sex would bring her partner closer…or not.
Watch my vlog above and tell me if you agree in the comments below! Do you think physical intimacy increases emotional intimacy?
And don’t forget to email me your questions, thoughts, rants, and desires at askanexpert@gurl.com!
Ask Lena: How to get your dream date to Homecoming | gURL.com
One of the most exciting parts of high school is the anticipation of dances — The dress! The committee (if you’re into that)! The preparation! The hair! The makeup (if you’re into that, too)! Practicing your dance moves in front of the mirror (admit it!)! But nothing causes more anxiety than the DATE.
AnimalActivist0115 wrote in to askanexpert@gurl.com to ask how she can get the date she wants to Homecoming! She’s not sure if he likes her, and she’s not sure if he’s going to ask her yet. I can totally feel for her! The anxiety of not knowing is positively excruciating. Is there a sure fire way to find out? I have a very good answer for that. So click on and press play! Then share your date success stories and comments below!
And do you have a question for me? Send it in! I love getting your emails. Email me anything at askanexpert@gurl.com!